alex & ktd

my eyes don't work

2005-12-02T17:46:10Z

sometimes alex and i do this thing where we try to be cultured. he usually is a lot better at it than me. for awhile i was into modern design while he was into fashion. right now he's food blogging and i'm curating an art show.
please come and say hello! the opening reception is tonight at dadabase (on the corner of main and broadway)
any questions can be answered swiftly if you leave them in the comments section.

iPod blew out my damn ears

2005-11-06T21:10:43Z

iPods have a feature called 'sound check' which is supposed to standardize the volume of songs. Normally I keep the volume level at about 3/4, but when I listened to some new songs I had just imported the volume jumped by about 50% and merked my damn ear drums. I had disorientation for a couple of hours afterwards, and I still have a headache today (although I did have eleven drinks last night)!

The question becomes, what do I do with my settlement money? Buy gold fronts and a recording studio, or start a baby exotic animal sanctuary?

That is an ocelot.

psycho in 308

2005-11-03T10:47:13Z

Balzac & Misfits, NYC Halloween 2005

I'm responsible for taking shitty photos because I'd just eaten a huge meal at Dallas BBQ and drank a texas sized Margarita with an extra shot (that I didn't order, thank you). There are also video clips, including a fun one where I get smoked in the head by a skinny Japanese kid trying to crowd-surf and I barely manage to hang onto the camera. Let me know if you want to see it!

I didn't feel well enough to stand close in for the Misfits set, but it wasn't important. Jerry gave shouts to Danzig ('Uncle Glen'?), and when he said the Misfits 'isn't a product, it's an attitude' I shouted 'Buy a t-shirt!'. His Mom was there too!

this is tonight

2005-10-28T21:58:56Z

There's an open bar with Red Stripe so I'm doomed.

aw, skytrain

2005-10-22T08:30:00Z

I was on my way home from work and sat alongside a couple on the skytrain and they were cuddling. For some reason it produced a weird reaction in me, and I wouldn't say I was taken aback but I sort of disapproved. Like, 'tsk tsk, cuddling on the skytrain?', and I was so surprised that I had this reaction and couldn't figure out where it came from (dude had a chinstrap and argyle sweater! Bad shoes.) They were really cuddling too, like arms up around her, looked like it took a bit of effort.

I could see people cuddling just about anywhere else, maybe the park, or a movie, and that wouldn't strike me as unacceptable. Even like, in a dentists office, at a company picnic, or on a ghost train. Does it have something to do with the way I feel about cuddling, or the way I feel about riding the skytrain?

Then I got off the skytrain and became wary of a big group of drunk underage kids.

Am I turning into some uptight, peevish crank? I used to be alright, really!

What if I end up all "Shame about this graffiti!", "that music video was a little racy for my liking" and "not with my tax dollars!"? Fuck! Even "I don't know art, but I knows what I likes!" is too shitty.

I hope I never write a letter to the Province Editor, too. Those people mostly suck.

On the other hand, this morning my roomate ran out to the balcony and scolded our neighbour for revving the car. She leaned over the railing (I imagine) and said "Hey! Stop that! What are you doing that for?" and the guy just went back in his house! I like to imagine him looking all sheepish and caught out.

Pharrell can't rap!

bad behaviour

2005-10-22T01:52:03Z

I drank too much and tried to trespass on federal property ('Dude, you can't go in there' 'But it is my birthday!'), and then I smoked part of a menthol cigarette. Gross!

you better take me to a vet

2005-09-20T08:05:24Z

Katie and Alex spoke on the phone and one of them mentioned that neither had posted in a while. The truth is we got bored of the Internet because it's actually kinda gay and hardly anybody uses it anymore. That being said, a lot has happened.

Katie spent a lot of time studying hermetic kabbalah and now she does free tarot readings (ask her). She also grew dreads again and got a job at the Body Shop, or something. She got Seasonal Affective Disorder from mid-August to the first week of September but she's okay now. She stopped eating pork and glutens.

Alex got really into body modifications and is saving up to get his neck-fat pierced. He wears black nail polish and gained a lot of weight. He swent swimming in Trout Lake and got the Clap. The thing about Alex trying to high by injecting Neo-Citran is not true.

Also, congratulations to Darren and Anna who got married!

Bye.

just in case you care

2005-08-13T05:50:19Z

1. i am moving to a new apartment, it has hardwood floors. i will live all alone. living alone will be very strange. i worry i will just sit alone and read.
2. i have a new job. it is sort of my dream job, minus the whole, working in the customer service industry. i get to work with books and some very nice people. don't bother looking for me inside the store, at first, i'll be in the back.
3. am very apprehensive about starting school in september and worried about student loan coming through.

(alex, i am sorry this was neither funny nor entertaining. i will try harder next time) =(

since u been gone

2005-07-30T03:27:50Z

Man, this Kelly Clarkson song is way more rock and roll than anything Avril Lavigne has EVER put out.

This was probably the most embarassing stoned-thought I've ever had.

STINKOLPOIUS!

2005-07-24T06:34:37Z

over the past couple of days, i have been reading the newest installment of the harry potter saga. mostly, for the making out...mostly. here is the strange thing friends: ever since i started this book everywhere i go terrrriible smells follow. sometimes it's dirty laundry (more specifically: sam's t shirt and moldy rags at cuppa joe), occasionally it's a certain person's gas, today i was in close proximity with a dead rodent, and ALRIGHT, a lot of the time it's just my armpits. the thing is, i am worried the copy of the novel i received was in fact, cursed. it's possible that until i finish the darn thing, i will forever be riddled with stink.
basically, i'm spending saturday night reading it. i can't take any chances.

same ghost every night

2005-07-15T02:56:46Z

Yesterday I had just the right amount of caffeine, so that while I was typing I started to zone out and my fingers just danced across the keyboard at the Speed of Thought, and I felt, 'this must be what it's like to be a concert pianist'.

There will never be applause no matter how well I type.

Today I came up with a good excuse for when you get in trouble for refusing to go swimming, and that is to tell the other person that under your clothes you are basically just covered in tribal tattoos.

do you know that most times, i can't even spell my own name right?

2005-06-28T08:22:55Z

anyone who knows me, know's i have a problem with books.
not only do i like to read them too much, i reference important authors in conversation as if i know them.
"oh yeah, you know, Dr Seuss and i were just hanging out the local watering hole, talking philosophy...no biggies"
anyway, i finally found a store that not only deals with my incredible dementia, they encourage it!
have you ever been to pulp fiction? you should go there. if not for the books, at least to see the man who actually POSTED about this embarrassing little livejournal. see: http://vananodyne.blogspot.com/ (i really don't understand the wonders of html, friends.)

in other news, i've been dealing with long hugs and awkwardly rolling down hills.

UPDATE: AS IT TURNS OUT, LIVEJOURNAL IS IDIOT PROOF, AND IN FACT, LINKS WEBSITES FOR YOU! AMAZING!

hey gurl. r u for real?

2005-06-24T04:57:27Z

On her first day back from Ontario, Katie uses my hotmail account to reply to a personal ad on Craigslist. It was in the 'Casual Encounters' section.

I told her not to, but I am pretty stoked that this girl wrote back.

"im in surrey or can come to you. either way
$170 - 1/2hr ,$200 45 min or $225 1hr
I have toys 4 us to play with and sexy outfits for you to pick from babe"

I can TOTALLY afford that!

Thanks, Katie.

like, yeah.

2005-06-22T02:22:13Z

tomorrow i fly in. thank god.
someone come meet me at the airport! i bet everyone wants to be there at 10:30.
totally, right?

hot sweet cheese

2005-06-15T20:41:43Z

Durian

The effect is great: sex continues longer and is much more intense; which leads to a super orgasm. If you would like to try your luck with durian in Holland, visit one of the Indonesian shops. The change you might find one is small. But remember, they’re always cheap compared to a gram of Coke.

The preceding entry is from an article about sexual fitness from gay-news.com, which is apparently one of Amsterdam's leading gay news portals.

The reason I am bringing it to you now is that I did a google search for 'durian' and 'coke' because my Mom always told me that if you drank Coke© after eating durian you could get really sick and go the hospital (or you spontaneously combust, I forget).

Anyway, that is apparently just an Old Wives tale or else my Mom was just dicking around but I now know that there are additional claims out there about the properties of durian which probably aren't true either.

oh boy, lasagna!

2005-06-14T08:04:29Z

I just spent about 15 minutes scraping and eating burnt on cheese from the corners of a tinfoil container which held lasagna.

If another rapper I was beefing with saw me do that, they would definitely diss me for it on one of their tracks.

how we smell

2005-06-10T19:19:00Z

Every time we smell something, we're drawing molecules of whatever we're smelling up into our noses.

Into our HEADS.

Many of these molecules end up enmeshed in a gooey membrane called the epithelium, which is full of smell receptors.

In conclusion, when you smell poo, you're getting a snootfull of poo-flakes.

This will haunt me for the rest of my life.

an ode to racan's livejournal.

2005-06-10T17:15:01Z

today is a big day. pride swallowing and patience will be introduced to katie davis. for the first time in a long time, i will be completely honest and give up on silly games that don't make sense to me anyway.
at least there will be lemonade.

count pleasant

2005-06-06T08:13:35Z

So, it was no good that the police came, but most of the other stuff was fun. Some guy peed out my window. I found a hat and sunglasses. It was nice to see you.

extreme home for the straight guy

2005-06-01T01:12:28Z

man, last night i surprised alex with a room-makeover. i think he was pretty excited.
michelle, anna and i cleaned the place up and set up furniture. it's a total bachelor pad, so much so that he had a girl sleep over the first night!
too bad it was his best friend, and she was snoring.
anyway friends. speeking of best friendz, my other bf jenn wong has a birthday tomorrow. she is turning 21! we will be celebrating by playing a show at the railway club at about 11pm. please come and say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"

=(

2005-05-26T18:44:52Z

last night my cat ran away. porkchop is missing.
i thought i found him, but he got away again. clever thing that he is.
if you see a white cat with testicles in tact roaming the streets with a bindle, please send him home.

dear blog

2005-05-24T03:58:47Z

I think I'm about to quit my job. This is a pretty big deal. Hella repercussions. I have about 45 minutes to decide whether or not I can stand to work another night there. If I quit, I can have margaritas immediately after because it's margarita Monday.

It's decision time. WWJD?

hello again, long lost friends...

2005-05-10T08:57:21Z

summer has arrived. currently, my disposition is, as follows:

oh, by the way. i'm in a band now. it's a joke. you can come and watch my friend and i make fools of ourselves if you want. we're called jalapeno ranch, you know, like the dip? i promise a lot of awkward "yo"ing and technical difficulties. it's at the candy bar, on friday, at about 8:30. we're opening!

animal voices

2005-05-09T09:38:44Z

props to:

- 'The Flower Box' for being open at 7:30 AM on a Sunday so I could buy a Mother's Day bouquet without having to wait for the shitty Safeway to open.

- my Mom for sending me off with a fruit plate, and advising me of the order in which I should eat the fruit ('start with the oranges because they're sour, then move on to the sweeter ones like the longans'.

- roomate Michelle for noticing that I downloaded a bunch of Guitar Wolf and then bringing home 'Wild Zero' which I've really been wanting to watch.

slops to:

- the fat girl storming around the office in a huff right now because someone threw her food out. You're not going to starve.

- jokes that involve having more than a really basic knowledge of binary to understand.

- Katie for forgetting our LJ password and not updating this for weeks. I CAN'T CARRY THIS SHIT ALONE, KATIE, OKAY?

snifty snakes

2005-04-29T08:43:15Z

Basically, that's about it.

Sentences can't come close to describing how elated I am to have found Snifty Snakes. Isn't that the greatest thing? If you want to see it in person, it's in the window of that creepy games store on Water Street in Gastown.

And if you want to start calling me 'Snifty Snakes', then I'd be okay with that too.